


Self-Conscious

by chelseawinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 01:23:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8947615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelseawinchester/pseuds/chelseawinchester





	

You had always been incredibly self conscious of your weight, feeling as if no one felt you were beautiful. When you were in high school, you had friends that were much thinner than you were, and they always got comments on how beautiful they were; people said they were jealous of their beauty. It made you feel left out and ugly, even though you weren’t that overweight. Those friends always said you were pretty and not to be worried about your weight, but you did anyway.

When you met the Winchesters, you were instantly attracted to Dean. He was the most handsome man you’d ever seen; he was tall, with dark blonde hair and incredible green eyes. You couldn’t stop staring when you first saw him. But you also knew that you didn’t have a chance in hell of being with him; the feeling of not being beautiful hadn’t changed since high school, so you didn’t even think about pursuing those feelings you had for Dean.

You had to move into the bunker because of some demons that killed your friends, and the brothers were worried more would come after you. You weren’t quite sure why, but you sure as hell weren’t going to question it. You had seen for yourself the demons that threw Sam and Dean across the room without touching them, so you were not going to deny the existence of the supernatural.

After you moved in, you bonded with Dean through your taste in music and food. You spent quite a bit of time in the library with him when he was doing research, and you would bug the hell out of Sam by listening to Zeppelin as loud as you could. He didn’t mind Zeppelin too much, it was just the fact that Dean spent more time singing along with you than he did doing actual research. It was hard to be so close to Dean when you were practically in love with him, but being good friends was better than nothing.

While the brothers were out on hunts, you spent too much time in the kitchen baking. Your love for pie rivaled Dean’s, so you usually tried to hide one away from Dean so he wouldn’t eat it. He always found it, though, and ate at least half of it, usually asking if you wanted to share with him. He was so adorable when he dug into that pie–it was a good thing he didn’t pay attention to much else, otherwise he’d see the way you stared at him, wanting to lick off the pie filling that dripped down his chin.

Somewhere in the back of your mind you understood that eating this many sweets probably contributed to you being slightly overweight, but who could resist a good pie, especially when you were sharing it with Dean Winchester? You had considered giving it up, but your craving for it was always powerful enough to get you eating it again.

There was one day that Sam and Dean asked you if you wanted to get out of the bunker and go out for a drink. You agreed immediately, excited to do something other than watch Netflix and sit with the Winchesters while they did research.

There was a bar nearby that Dean liked, so the three of you went there. The boys each got whiskey while you ordered tequila. After a drink or two, you noticed how beautiful some of the women there were. It made you feel more self-conscious than you had in awhile; being in the bunker had made you (mostly) forget about your weight, but this just brought it right back.

“Hey, Dean?” you asked quietly.

“Yeah?”

“I… I’m not feeling so great, do you think we could go back?”

“Sure thing, Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, exactly, I just don’t feel good, that’s all.”

“Let’s go.” Dean paid for the drinks and the three of you went back to the bunker.

Laying in your room, you thought about your weight for the first time in two months. You didn’t want to feel so shitty about the way you looked anymore, so you decided on a plan. First, you weren’t going to eat the pie anymore. And you were going to exercise. You weren’t quite sure about that part, you didn’t think there was a gym in the bunker, but you’d do something. You were also going to eat the “rabbit food” (as Dean called it) that Sam ate. It was going to suck, but you wanted to feel good about yourself for the first time, well, ever.

The next morning, you talked to Sam about ways to exercise when you were stuck inside. “Actually, we’ve got a little room where you can train like we do. It might not be exactly what you’re looking for, but it’s a start. I can help you if you’d like.”

“That’d be great, Sam, thank you.”

Dean only noticed that things were changing when you turned down a piece of pie. “Wait… you’re not going to eat pie?”

“No, Dean, I’m not,” you snapped.

“Huh. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, it just doesn’t sound that good right now.”

“Okay…” He seemed suspicious of it, but let it go anyway.

Eventually you felt good enough to go out to the bar again, ready to face the beautiful women. You put on a bit of makeup and the one outfit you had that flattered you.

Sitting at the bar, you were not prepared to see an incredibly attractive blue-eyed blonde practically sitting on Dean’s lap. Her form-fitting dress showed off her breasts, which were pressed up against his arm.

You looked down at yourself, realizing you would never be that stunning. You had to get out of there as quick as you could, not able to look at that any longer, so you ran outside to the Impala. You leaned against the car, arms crossed, breathing heavily. Thoughts of self-hate flooded your mind and tears streamed down your face. I’ll never lose the weight, I’m never going to be attractive enough to date someone like Dean, you thought.

Just then, you heard footsteps coming from the bar. You stood up straight and quickly wiped your face dry.

“Y/N?” Dean’s voice made your heart drop. You didn’t want to explain that you were upset that he was all over some woman instead of you. It would be humiliating. But you knew he wouldn’t leave you alone till you did. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” It was worth a shot. “Last time we were here, you wanted to leave. Is there something about the place, or the drinks, or…?”

“I… I’m just… it’s hard to explain, Dean, you won’t understand. Besides, I don’t want to look like an idiot.”

“You won’t look like an idiot, I promise. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

“I’m jealous, okay?” you blurted. “I’m jealous of that woman back there because she was so damn beautiful and I’m not. I’ll never look like she does no matter how hard I try! Even if I workout every day and eat all the right food, men that look like you will never want me.”

“Why would you think that? Y/N, you’re very beautiful. And plenty of men have been checking you out all night, believe me. It’s probably a good thing they didn’t try anything, though.”

You laughed to yourself. “Oh yeah, why?” you asked sarcastically.

“Because then I would have been jealous.”

Wait, what? “Then why did you let that woman throw herself at you?”

Dean shrugged. “What was I supposed to do? I didn’t think you wanted me, and there was a woman who did. But believe me, if I knew, I would have made a move a long, long time ago.”

“Really?” you sniffled.

“Y/N, you are an incredible woman. You are smart. You have awesome taste in music. You love pie. And you are beautiful.” The tears started to flow again, but not because you were sad. You couldn’t believe Dean–who looked like a freaking Greek god–was saying this to you. “Hey, that was a compliment.” He wiped the tears from your face, leaving his hand on your cheek. His eyes searched yours, looking for permission. Instead of nodding, you rose up on your toes and kissed Dean. His lips were softer than you imagined, and he was so gentle. You parted your lips, allowing Dean to deepen the kiss.

Sam ruined the moment, interrupting you. “Hey guys, what’s–”

Dean pulled away. “Dude.”

“Sorry!” Sam turned and walked back into the bar, and you heard him say, “‘Bout time,” as he headed back to the bar.


End file.
